Me & You

Ordinary, no

Really don't think so

Not a love this true

Common destiny

We were meant to be

Me and you

Like a perfect scene

From a movie screen

We're a dream come true

Suited perfectly

For eternity

Me and you

Everyday, I need you even more

And the nighttime too

There's no way I could ever let you go

Even if I wanted to

Everyday I live

Try my best to give

All I have to you

Thank the stars above

That we share this love

Me and you

Everyday, I need you even more

And the nighttime too

There's no way I could ever let you go

Even if I wanted to

Ordinary, no

Really don't think so

Just a precious few

Ever make it last

Get as lucky as

Me and you

These are the lyrics to my wedding song, Me and You by Kenny Chesney.  I danced to it with my husband for the first time 14 years ago tonight.  

We had a wonderful wedding, great food, good music, wonderful friends and family and a beautiful ceremony in the church my parents were married in and that I attended every week growing up.

Things went wrong that day. As my parents and I were leaving the hotel where all our out of town guests were staying the night before the wedding, we spotted a large contingent of my groom's family.  In that group were 8 people that my mother in law insisted weren't coming after we had failed to receive RSVP's weeks ago.  Apparently, she never actually called to check and now, we were going to be an entire table short.  The flowers, which my brother paid for as our wedding gift, while beautiful, weren't done the way I had ordered them.  I had ordered very small bouquets for myself and the wedding party.  That is not what showed up at the house an hour before the ceremony.  

See how big that thing was!?  But there wasn't anything I could do at that point and no way I was going to upset my brother and start complaining.  I would like to claim that I have a natural tendency to let things go, but that would be a lie.  What helped me keep the flowers in perspective and not go batshit crazy (a la bridezilla), was the fact that I had a dose of reality the Thursday before the wedding.  My aunt was lying in a hospital bed, that she wouldn't be leaving.  My mother, uncle, and I visited with her on the Thursday before my wedding and I knew as I left that she wouldn't survive through my honeymoon.  I was in fact seeing her for the final time that day.  THAT is what kept the bridezilla like attitude out of my wedding.  So, we squeezed the extra family members in and I appreciated that I had a brother who was willing to buy all the beautiful flowers.

My marriage has followed the same path as my wedding.  Overall, it has been a grand, wonderful time.  But it has had its unexpected issues crop up here and there.  But I think those moments have provided my husband and I the chances to really see each other, and fall in love all over again.  When we were told our second child was severely disabled following our second sonogram, and we cried together.  When she was born, whisked away by the NICU team, and then returned to us, a healthy, happy baby, we cried together.  When my husband was told by phone call on the eve of Thanksgiving that his company was sold and he didn't have a job, we shook hands and agreed we would be okay.  When I got sick.  Really sick.  I needed help to shower, and go to the bathroom, and puke.  And I lost so much weight I looked like I had AIDS.  And then I went on steroids and gained it all back, plus more.  When he made me feel beautiful through it all.  When our son was diagnosed with HSP and we took turns staying up with him and spooning liquid codeine into his mouth to control the pain, and it wasn't enough.  And now, as our parents age, and we slowly lose his mother to Alzheimer's and deal with his father's unwillingness to acknowledge his wife's decline.  These are the big hurdles we jump over and continue on.

There are little issues to.  Anyone who is married knows this.  Anyone living with another person knows this!  My husband can't quite seem to find the hamper, even though it is right on his side of the bed.  I am quite sure that I intend to remove the pile of long blond hair that piles up in the shower drain that he hates, but, you know what they say about the best of intentions.  These have the makings of becoming mountains someone is willing to die on, but we chose not to do it.  I have learned that a successful marriage isn't about compromise, its about letting things go.  Its about not sweating the small stuff.  When I find myself murmuring to myself about the clothes decorating the floor around the hamper, I choose to focus on the fact that I haven't had to clean the snow off my car for 14 years.  It can be hard to do, letting things go; focusing on the good things our spouse does instead.  And some days it is harder than others.  But it has been worth it.  

Ordinary, no

Really don't think so

Just a precious few

Ever make it last

Get as lucky as

Me and you